Every Friend Group Needs At Least One 'Dump Him' Friend
By Sola Onitiri
Photo by Cortney White on Unsplash
In every group, there is (or should be) at least one no-nonsense, down to brass tactics friend. You go to them for advice with a capital "A", because they serve the tea piping hot and with several action items to follow. And when it comes to romance, they are just as sharp. With the hammer of justice, and after just a few words, they will declare your relationship deceased. Some might find them to be harsh, others enjoy the candor but either way, you need this person in your life. Here's why.
Perspective
There's this quote about flags and rose-colored glasses that has always struck a chord with me. Relationships can get you so turned around, that with the improper eyewear, red flags just look like flags. That's where the 'Dump Him' Friend comes into play. A date gone awry may seem completely innocuous to you could actually be a bigger faux pas than you think. A fresh set of eyes in relationship drama is exactly the perspective you need.
The Knowledge That Leaving is Always an Option
Knowing you can leave is incredibly important in any relationship but especially one of a romantic nature. Feeling like there is no out in your relationship is a major symptom that's indicative of a larger problem. Your 'Dump Him' friend is telling you to do so because they're seeing some toxic tendencies in your relationship. And if that's the case they want you to know that you're strong enough to leave that toxicity behind.
Objective In Nature
Now, not all "Dump Him" Friends are cut from good cloth. Sometimes your 'Dump Him' friend is more of a Dump Him frenemy. Basically, they are a stone cold hater who would love some company on the side with their misery. They are constantly comparing their relationship (or lack thereof) to yours despite the fact that they have nothing to do with each other. Do yourself a favor and ignore this person. They're not a real 'Dump Him' Friend. Your real one-day one will try to remain as objective as possible. The advice they give is all about you - full stop. They don't project, assume or create fake scenarios about your relationship.
A Hype (Wo)man
What typically follows a tide of 'Dump Him's is a righteous and highly favored hype session. Your friends will stan you hard. Amid snaps and 'yaaaas queens' will be long winded sermons on how your a professional bad ass who's highlighter could bring a ship home from sea. Or how your skin and credit score are thriving. How do they know about your credit score? Who knows! But the point is, nothing is off limits when it comes to making their point. And the point is, that you're too good to be treated however way whoever this "him" is treating you.
So When Do You Start Listening To them
That's completely up to you. But if you're receiving the same bit of advice about the same situation, that might be a good sign to start listening. Either way, your 'Dump Him' friends are still your friends, so they'll have your back through thick and thin. Even if that thick is dumping him.