Dear Self-Care Critics, You're Right (But You're Also Wrong)
By Sola Onitiri
We’re at the point of social critique where we roll our eyes at the topic of self-care. In our cynicism’s defense, self-care has been relentlessly sold to us. Yeah, that’s it, that’s the end of the sentence. Sold to us.
Self-care - something that is so personal and sacred - has been commodified into bite-sized, face mask, and treat yo’ self pieces.
Don’t get me wrong. Face masks and treating yourself is totally part of it. You’re going to see a lot of that here and on the site.
Self-care IS bath bombs and spa days. It IS pedicures and Prosecco. But self-care is also stark naked honesty. Hard decisions and grappling with tough shit. It’s silence. It’s pouring into yourself. It’s setting boundaries for others but most importantly for yourself. And usually, it comes after a long period of not doing those things. So it’s the essence of forgiveness. It’s acceptance, relief.
I recreated this photo of the ICONIC Sade Adu. (Fellow Nigerian who also had to explain that the ‘S’ in her name is pronounced ‘Sh’)
I recreated it because to me, it represents everything that encapsulates holistic self-care. The glamour of the spa day - the jewelry, the red lip, the fluffy towel. But it also represents the somber tone of self-care is in its entirety can often embody - the meditative pose and the mysterious look.
2020 is (finally!!!!) coming to an end. But the lesson of holistic self-care is one I’m going to take into every year coming ❤️
Does dressing well make you feel better during this, the worse three months of the freaking year. Spoiler: the answer is yes. But not for the reasons you think.